Caring For Aging Parents Part 3

We conclude this series this week with Part 3. To make it easier for you to remember the outline for the last two weeks we've included all three weeks below. 

Part 1

1. It is hard.
   1. Life is busy all by itself, but caring for aging parents doubles or triples the load.
   2. Some parents are pretty much on their own all the way through life, but others need lots of help and care.  
2. As much as possible, plan ahead before care is needed.
   1. Talk with all the family who is involved or who will be.
   2. If possible, purchase insurance plans that will help.
      1. Perhaps pay for them as a family.
      2. Secure wills and power of attorneys and bank accounts and all that while it can be done easily.
   3. Have a plan as to who is in charge and who will help and how it will be done.
3. Be prepared for misunderstanding and difficult responses
   1. Remember truth when accusations are made
   2. Remember truth when challenges occur

Part 2

4. It needs to be a WE affair and not a ME affair
   1. Get everyone involved
      1. Brothers and sisters
         1. Typically best to give someone power of attorney
         2. Typically best to give someone the power of the money
      2. Aunts and uncles
         1. They can spend nights
         2. They can transport to appointments
      3. Sons and daughters
         1. If you parents live with you, the kids can help with them
      4. Spouse
         1. Communicate
         2. Prioritize
            1. On both sides
               1. The one who is care-giving needs love and understanding as they give to their parent
               2. The one who is married to the care-giver needs the same as they give to their spouse
   2. Everyone should get involved
      1. One person likely cannot do it by themselves
      2. Each person must shoulder some responsibility
5. Make it a practical matter
   1. Prepare wisely
      1. Think ahead while the decision is easy
      2. Decide ahead of time as many things as possible
         1. Have a will
         2. Have a living will
         3. Have all information and important papers located and available
   2. Plan carefully
      1. Sit down with as many people as possible to make a plan
      2. Someone should be designated as the one who “takes-charge”
   3. Talk continually
      1. Keep everyone in the loop
      2. Keep everyone organized
      3. Perhaps use a group text morning and evening

Part 3

             4.  Schedule specific responsibilities

5. 1. 1. Living arrangements
      2. Driving arrangements
         1. Appointments
         2. Events
      3. Financial arrangements
6. Know your limitations
   1. Some things can be done
   2. Some things cannot be done
   3. Some times you need a break
      1. Never allow yourself to feel guilty for taking a break when it is needed
7. Some questions
   1. How do you handle difficult parents?
      1. Do the right thing
         1. The right thing is to keep caring
         2. The right thing may be to allow someone else to do the caring
      2. Do the hard thing
         1. You may have to choose a nursing home
         2. You many have to choose assisted living
      3. Allow someone to have veto power over your decisions?
         1. By that I mean limited veto power
            1. Limited by time (they can override for a set amount of time)
   2. How do you handle parents with whom you have little or no relationship?
      1. Prayerfully
         1. Pray about it
         2. Seek counsel as you pray
      2. Wisely
         1. If you have no relationship, you do not have to carry the burden of responsibility 
         2. If you have a damaged relationship, seek to make things right
         3. If you cannot make things right, you may need to allow others to serve as the care-giver and you serve as a helper . . .