Books That Can Help...and Why [Tripp] Part 1

Join Dave and Bethlie as they embark on this multi-part series on the book Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

What is the point of the book?

It is written to parents with children of any age and provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your child’s heart into the paths of life.

Several things stand out in Part 1

1. His comments about Behavior on page 4
   1. If behavior becomes our only focus, we miss an important part of training
   2. “Parents often get sidetracked with behavior. If your goal in discipline is changed behavior, it is easy to understand why this happens.   . . . You think you have corrected when you have changed unacceptable behavior to behavior that you sanction and appreciate.
   3. “What is the problem? You ask. The problem is this: Your child’s needs are far more profound than his aberrant behavior . . . If you are to really help him, you must be concerned with the attitudes of heart that drive his behavior. “
   4. “A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable; it is condemnable.”
   5. Don’t miss the balance there . . .
      1. “What must you do in correction and discipline? You must require proper behavior. God’s law demands that. You cannot, however, be satisfed to leave the matter there. You must help your child . . . expose the attitude of the heart that has resulted in wrong behavior.”
      2. A few suggestions from be and Bethlie
      3. If your child is younger, behavior is the first priority. They don’t understand yet, but you can’t wait until they have the capacity to reason and think.  You will be way behind if you do. 
      4. So go ahead and focus on their behavior.
         1. Give me your attention.
      5. As they then begin to grow and understand, you can then begin working on their heart.  
         1. Give me your heart

2. His comments about influences that shape who a person is and what they become as a result
   1. What are the influences?
      1. Structure of their family life
      2. Family Values
         1. Illustration of Vases or Disobedience on p 12
      3. Family Roles
      4. Family Conflict Resolution
      5. Family Response to Failure
      6. Family History
   2. What are the mistakes we often make regarding these influences?
      1. We assume they are just helpless victims because of their
      2. We assume they are unaffected by their experiences
      3. We rely on determinism: if the environment is right, the kid will turn out right
      4. We have to remember that the clay is not passive
      5. This is why the heart is so important