Books That Can Help...and Why Part 2

Join Dave and Bethlie as they continue a study on a few select chapters of the book Ten Pillars of an Awesome Marriage by Charles Shoemaker. 

PART 2

5. Chapter 5 Conflict Resolution

1. 1. Goal - not to avoid but to handle wisely
   2. Illustration of Lady Astor to Winston Churchill - If you were my husband, I would give you poison; if you were my wife, I would take it!
   3. P. 85 Swindoll Quote
      1. Frequently, marital warfare is in the trenches of belligerence or moodiness. Some battles are night attacks or surprise assaults. Others are cold wars of stoic silence.  Cruel methods of torture are also employed—public criticism, fearful threats, intimidation, ugly sarcasm, and hateful remarks designed to put down one’s mate. Such tactics are popular . . . but wrong because they are unfair and they never lead to domestic peace.”
   4. P. 87 PFS - personal filtering system
      1. Age
      2. Gender
      3. Education
      4. Life experiences
      5. Culture
      6. Temperament 
      7. Skills
      8. Personality
      9. Spirituality
   5. How do you resolve conflicts
      1. Be right with God
      2. Be swift to hear and slow to speak
      3. Own it when you are wrong
      4. Stay focused on issue at hand
      5. Face conflicts with a team mindset
         1. We not me
         2. A marriage struggles when it has two “I”s